CHOG #20 - ARE YOU "THAT" PERSON?
Updated: Oct 25, 2022
I am that person who has opinions and loves to give advice. I am that person that laughs at myself. I am that person that speaks out. I am that person who ignores things. I am that person that forgives. I am that person who holds a grudge. I am that person that protects my family against anything. I am that person who depends on my husband. I am that person that gossips. I am that person that is jealous of others. I am that person who makes excuses. I am that person who is confident. I am that person that is optimistic. I am that person who loves dogs. I am that person that puts off paperwork and household duties. I am that person who is the hardest worker. I am that person that can keep a confidence to the grave, and yes, I am that person who cares what I look like when I go out (most of the time...insert giggle giggle!)
I am that person……
Boy! If you get a chance to read my book, INSERT GIGGLE GIGGLE, Laughing Your Way through Raising Kids and Running a Business and have read any or all of the Giggle Chogs up to this one, you have a pretty good idea of what kind of person I am. Or do you? Do we really ever know another person? Dennis Lehane questions that in his book, Gone Baby Gone. He wonders, can you ever really know a person? “Can you fathom what makes them do the things they do, think the way they think? If it’s not the way you think, it never makes sense. Does it?” This question and this entire Chog is really a view on what are put forth in several other Chogs about other people’s opinions, being a strong woman, and all sorts of aspects of being a human being, walking a mile in someone else’s shoes, and having people judge you while you judge others, rightly or wrongly.
We all do it as well as have it done to us.
So, should I be judged on anything I confess to in the opening paragraph? Exactly what kind of person does all that make me? Good or bad, worth getting to know or not? Do some people recognize me in anything I think of myself above? Or do they say, “that’s not the person I know”. Probably both.
Since we just got off a blog about sports and athletes, I’ll tell a couple of sports stories. My husband, Steve, and I are huge Georgia Tech fans. Steve and our oldest son, Hayden, attended Georgia Tech, and our youngest son, William, was named after his Uncle Bill, among other athletic achievements of his, Bill Paschal started his professional football career at Georgia Tech and went on to play for the NY Giants. We’ve had GT football season tickets for over 40 years and have followed GT to various bowl games around the country, just so the stage is set. It is an understatement to say that we hate the Georgia Bulldogs. When GT plays UGA, I hate those players (take this as good-old-fashion-hate which is a generational and proud “thing” between GT and UGA fans – not actual “hate” hate), but I want this team destroyed (which doesn’t happen too often in this rivalry…insert giggle giggle). At one time, UGA had a quarterback that has since gone on to be one of the best in the NFL and in fact led his team to victory in the 2022 Super Bowl. Of course, I “hated” this (teenager) player (insert giggle giggle) back in his UGA days. Years go by. A mom enrolls her son at PPP, my preschool, later to be followed by 2 additional siblings. This mom, I loved. Her children, precious. She is the sister-in-law of Matthew Stafford, the UGA quarterback of my nightmares just described, you know the (teenager) I hated back in the day. Well, what do you know? The nicest guy ever. Matthew came to the preschool to read, came to Summer Camp to throw around the football with our after-school children (which by the way, did not include his nieces or nephews at that time), made an appearance at our annual Super Bowl Pep Rally, and on and on. I once told him how much I had “hated” him….of course, he just laughed (thank goodness). He and his wife, Kelly, are such generous people. I believe I watched a video once of all the financial gifts as well as personal time they devote to families each Christmas. It’s inspiring and uplifting, such wonderful people.
So, I am that person evidently. As in, “hating” (or having sour feelings for) someone without knowing them….(as said, this wasn’t really hate), but how many of can raise our hand and say we are guilty of that on a real level…? Come on, raise your hand.
The last sport example is sort of minor, but speaks to the somewhat swagger, over-confidence, and on-the-field hubris of a lot of athletes that we love to hate, especially if they are not on our team (insert giggle giggle). Well, William once played college ball with a player that I would think most opponents would hate, players and parents. I know if he wasn’t on William’s team, I would “hate” him, or hate playing against him, mainly because of his talent, just saying. This player’s on-the-field confident and “in-your-face” attitude was over the top. Off the field, nicest and most respectful young man you would ever want to meet which would have been so surprising and in fact unbelievable to those that never got the chance to know him.
So maybe enough said about what you know (or think you know) about people that you don’t know. What about people that you do know? What kind of person do you think they are? I have said so many times that I know Steve so well and he knows me better than anyone. I have also laughed to friends that one reason we’ve had such a long and happy marriage is that he continually surprises me – I can never be sure about what he may do or how he may react to something (insert giggle giggle). So, which is it? I guess it goes back to my confessions in the first paragraph. Maybe everyone is the same way. Maybe not the same examples but the same human condition. We can be, at the same time, so many different things. Re-read my Giggle Chog, Are You A Strong Woman. I give examples of myself in my personal life that people in my professional life would maybe not recognize. Am I being a phony in either? No. It’s a juxtaposition that I confess I can’t explain, it’s just the way it is, the way I am.
In the extreme, you have heard about people that have committed heinous crimes and people that know them can’t believe it. She was such a loving mother or He was such a quiet and helpful neighbor – these are things you hear people say that thought they knew that person. And for sure, there are times in all our lives when we have had to maybe put on a facade ourselves that has made us uncomfortable but was called for at the time as the person or personality needed for us to project.
Do you maybe recall that Seinfeld episode where it was a montage of isolated moments showcasing each of the characters acting in a terrible way? Selfish, judging, maybe even dangerous or terribly unkind to someone. It was a funny commentary on what someone viewing any of these moments could have characterized any one of these characters as being terrible people. Okay, not to say that doing something terrible doesn’t make you a terrible person, it can and most often does speak to the type of person you are. But I propose that even for every criminal in jail, there is probably a family member that loves them and can tell you things that person did that would show them as being a good person too. Wow…I can’t believe I just typed that…but you know, it’s true, as convoluted and twisted as it sounds.
So, are you that person? That person who is complex, dimensional, sometimes untrue to yourself? Are you that person that can hate and love with equal passion? Are you that person who can be so smart and yet do such dumb things? Are you that person that can look at yourself in the mirror and like what you see, mistakes, inadequacies, and all? Are you that person who can be proud of yourself? Are you that person that others can depend on and trust? I hope I am, in so many different and complex ways, that person…
Next up….What is a Hero?
Always remember to insert a giggle giggle ~ Kay 😊